Nightmares

So honestly....when I was teaching full time, and things would become pretty worrisome and stressful (like around state testing) I would start having nightmares about an event happening that I had no control over.  On the more lighthearted side of those nightmares, large "wild" animals such as rhinos, would come charging through the classroom walls and trample us all...nightmares based completely in reality I know :) While on the more serious side of those nightmares, I would wake up in the middle of the night as an angry student, or in my case of younger students, an angry parent, would come in and cause some sort of chaotic situation that would hurt my students or me.  When I would wake up to those more serious nightmares, I would try to remind myself that we practiced lock down drills that were meant to keep us as safe as possible in a school situation, and that in an elementary school I should be more concerned with natural disasters happening and making sure my students knew how to protect themselves by diving under their desks.

Then Sandy Hook Elementary School happened.  I watched the reports as they came in.  I read the stories about teachers and students that became heroes simply by surviving but also from stepping up into the role of helping others.  I tried not to focus on the negative and heart breaking parts...but how can my heart keep from breaking when I find out that many of the youngest in the school fell victim to such violence?  I retell myself about the teacher who, after hearing the 'booms' and 'screams' pushed her young students into the single person bathroom that was in the classroom and locked everyone in.  Have you ever attempted to keep a group of children in the dark, quiet and not squirming?  I have.  Not an easy task.  And here was a teacher who later said that she was pretty sure that this was the last thing that she and her students were going to do in this life, and when one of her children would voice their fears or begin to cry she would take their little face in her hands and tell them "I love you" among other positives such as they would all be alright - just so that would be the last thing they would hear instead of the terror that was happening around them.  What an amazing example she is to those little kids!  Because - I know that as a teacher I come to love the students I work so hard to teach.  I can believe that those we lost last week in such a violent and tragic way are having their faces taken in our Heavenly Father's hands and being told,

"I love you"

Tonight, on the reality show The Voice, the participants gave a very simple, yet touching tribute to those we lost.  I hope that the families and the community of Sandy Hook Elementary School will find some comfort and feel the love of those around the world who are with them in spirit as they face beginning lives without their loved ones.