Seafood Connoisseur

Now me being from Seattle and all...I consider myself quite the seafood connoisseur. This is not to say that I have been a lifetime lover of all things "fishy", I've gone clam digging...once. I tried them, and there will be no way that anything that chewy will ever come into contact with my lips again. But I am willing to try new things, as was my experience with sushi recently. I was the tallest gringo in the place, and I felt that my clothes might match a little too much with zero Hello Kitty anywhere on my person. I was brief-ed on what to expect. We could sit in a booth or at the "bar"; then the Sushi chefs would make their creations right there in front of us. All very fascinating! Especially when Head Chef pulled out a 20 pound Salmon and with the biggest knife I have ever seen proceeded to de-head and de-scale the salmon in preparation of rolling it into our next sushi roll.

As you are sitting in your booth [or in our case at the bar] the plates of sushi would convey by and you would choose what you want off the conveyor belt and enjoy.

Each plate had 3 -4 pieces of Sushi

Purple plates were $3.00,
Blue plates were $2.50,
Green plates were $2.00, and
Orange plates were $1.00.

...and of course there was the $2.50 Budweiser in case you needed to wash out the sushi taste in your mouth!

As we were waiting for seats at the bar I noticed that Sushi Land had an

"All-You-Can-Eat" contest.

Easy you think? Until you read the fine print...30 plates within 90 minutes!! For those of you that think...no problem. Can you imagine making it through 29 plates? Not only would you be unbuttoning the top button of your pants but the extra space made from your sufficiently lighter, smaller wallet would definitely be needed.
"Sushi land also cannot be responsible for any health problems stemming from eating more plates {entrees} than your body was designed to hold"

Thanks! I'll keep that in mind the next time I am being rolled out the door from going for the Sushi Land Plate Champion title.

Conclusion: Be adventurous and try a roll of authentic "raw" sushi [I'm not talking "California Rolls" here] Just don't expect to become a Plate Champion on your first visit. Save that for next time.

Family Fun Night

Ode to my family's fabulousness. For this year's New Year's Eve we spent the evening together. Along with some adopted family members we played games, ate a home cooked meal, and in general made fun of each other's attempts to win. In fact we even attempted to play Trivial Pursuit, a game that not even Einstein himself would be able to successful play. Eventually after nearly 2 hours of trying to get through half the game, we decided that the next person to correctly answer a challenge would be the game winner. After the disappointment of Trivial Pursuit, I admit that I really wanted to play Pictionary. But indeed the game could not be located, and I was unfairly accused of stealing it!! I suspect foul play by those who despise Pictionary. So instead Yanaj suggested that we create our own version, roll a die: odds you draw, even you charades. We all came up with our own actions, people, movies, and events. The highlight of the evening was Yanaj's attempt:

Yup, even we couldn't guess what it was suppose to be, other than "giraffe-man attempting to wear his first necktie". Believe me, I guessed just that; and even that was not correct.

Any ideas?

...Locks...

Over the holiday break in Seattle I spent one of my days hanging out with my Dad. Now it was nice that he could take the days off of work while we were there, and it came in especially handy the day of The Engagement. Not my engagement... Lock #1 Boy That HPLuvr Admits To Liking: Rather the engagement of the unworthy boy that I liked all through high school. Suffice it to say that I probably liked him so long because I did not know him. Here is the scoop. So this boy -lets call him Fabio III- met a girl a year ago, brought her home from halfway across the country, and then proceeded to break up with her while they were in Seattle. Considerate. But that is not the end of it, no this year he decides once again to bring another candidate home, one that had already passed the mother-in-law-hopeful's "FP" test. This new girl then was given an elaborate proposal composed and plotted by mother-in-law-hopeful...and I was invited to go along and "help". Yup, so luckily that was the day me and dad planned to sight see Washington's Northwest coast.

One of our stops was a Granite Falls High School basketball game that my cousin was playing in. We only stayed long enough for the first quarter to end with a boy on the opposite team blowing chunks all over center court! YUCK!! We decided to make tracks and onto our next stop...until it was discovered... Lock #2 Car Keys: see anything wrong with this situation?
Believe it or not we were only standing in that freezing cold parking lot for less than 10 minutes! No one even came up to ask what we were doing...nice to know that our vehicles are safe! Either that or it has always been my Dad's plan to make sure that I could take care of myself in any car situation, flat tires, oil changes, smoking engines, and locking my keys in a locked car quickly.

Finally, digging deep for Lock #3 Apartment Doors: Nearly a year ago my good friend Nonnie flew to Utah to visit her family and me. We had arranged for an airport pickup time, and all went smoothly until we were hauling her luggage up the three flights of stairs up to my Salt Lake City apartment. I was excited to show her my place, in fact had been talking it up quite a bit. Except when I went to put my key into the deadbolt lock. Nothing happened. Hmmm...strange, it had always worked before. I checked to make sure I was using the correct key; I was certain that Bone Junior also had not switched our keys as a joke...almost certain. Finally, embarrassed, I stormed to the manager’s office and asked what the heck was up, my key was not working. Apparently maintenance had come to fix something in our apartment, finding that their key did not work, they decided that they had to change the entire lock. They came back to let me into my apartment. Once in my apartment, I looked over the copy of the maintenance request and job form...for our next door neighbors! No wonder their key didn't work, it was for another apartment. Luckily for me they switched the locks and once again I could go on talking up my new Salt Lake City apartment. My only advice would be to carefully watch the locks in our lives, you never know when you will loose, change, lock or hide them just as you need one!

Holidays over?

Now that the holidays are over, and I have survived my first full week back in Portable Land I have found the time to catch everyone up on whats been going on. Over the break I got to spend the best time back at home in Seattle. While there I was able to spend some quality time with those back there...and with them some crazy things happened. First of all, I went...

...wait a minute I am being threatened within an inch of my lap top's life... actual update to come later, again later.



Strange, this reminds me of another picture I've seen. Perhaps to pay tribute to one of our favorite visitors so far :)

The Good, the bad...

...And the men you could swing around their well developed biceps on. I haven't seen a movie this good since I was sitting in the basement of Janay's house back home in Bothell, with her and Bone Junior. On this night we had rented The Transporter, and all I had to say was....WOW!

Although, the only truly unbelieveible part about The Marine happened when yet another building was exploding [the total count was already up to 3 at the 15 minute marker] the camera was pulling a paneramic view and I saw that the price of gasoline was only $1.74! Apparently this amazing movie has already made it into dollar theaters across the nation. My recommendation would be to wait until you can check it out for 24 hours for a $1 at a Redbox. Just make sure to split the cost with other people.

Now onto a movie that really got me going:
The Holiday - starring Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law, and Cameron Diaz. To my memory this is the first Jude Law movie that I have seen, and let me tell you unlike some movies I've been forced not to sleep through, I really believed the chemistry between Jude and Cameron. Now the critics have been rather harsh on this movie, don't believe them. By halfway through the movie I wanted to do a vacation house swap! For now due to the fact that I do not want to "give away" too much of the movie all I am going to say is that mi favarito part is when Jude and Cameron are in a homemade tent and they are holding hands. Kudos to my roommate who got Jude Law on their pillow case. *Jealous*

What do you get to come home to?

What I come home to each night.
One of the most anticipated things about moving out on my own was that I would be able to adopt a kitten. In fact I already knew what he was going to look like and what his name was going to be. What else would a Harry Potter lover name their pet other than Ronald Weasley; although the name Sawyer came in a close second. Next came the fun part...shopping for him. As for his Kitty Toys; Ronald has chosen not the “cute” expensive toys I buy from Petsmart or Petco, but rather caps. Now I say caps as in shampoo bottle caps, perfume bottle caps… and I reluctantly agree that yes they fly on my hardwood floors much smoother than anything we have seen so far, and they make a great sound, as if they are trying desperately to escape and as we all know, boys certainly love the chase. Either way, my Ronald does not stick to conventional kitty ways. He always looks up at me, or down on me, depending if he has just woken me up by jumping on my face, with the most innocent "I love you so much" look that it is difficult to be mad at this one. Most recently during the infamous Bone Junior visit, Ronald treated our guest to the full service "wake up" call. To further explain; as Bone Junior was attempting to sleep in on the rare morning off for vacation, Ronald decided that he didn't want her to miss a moment of her visit to Houston sleeping longer than she needed to. To make sure that this travesty did not occur he took it upon himself to initiate Plan A. Materials Needed: 1 spring-y door stopper, one front paw, and stalwart courage. Later described as Ronald batting at the spring-y door stopper until Bone Junior nearly lost her mind...he was locked him out of the room not once, but twice! No need to set the alarm. No wasted time here. We deliver.

Touch the MOON

Come visit me here in Houston! The wonderful city where almost anything can happen- heck I am touching the moon, which strangely wanted me to tell those watching me make a fool of myself that Houston, you have a problem but don't worry I am imported. Well, I may be exaggerating a bit, but if you follow my pal, Janay's dad's, advice when visiting Houston you will return home with all limbs intact. It has been awhile, but when Janay accompanied me here for my interviews last April her dad made sure to tell us not to go playing in any of the canals. Thanks for the advice. We were also informed by Janay's mom that we were not to stay out too late or be out too early in the morning. Great. Interpretation: No swimming in any of the canals too early or too late at night. Noted. But with these rules, what is there left to do? Well, there is always Kemah's boardwalk, the place that only tourists go to purchase overpriced Tejas merchandise. But this way we still saw some water, and the wild reptiles are in large tanks. For those wondering- we did not get there too early, and only stayed until dusk.

Now fast forward six months...I find myself driving through the George Bush International Airport to pick up no other than the Bone Junior. Apparently some people need a fix of the only person they know who appreciates chick flicks, and TGIF reruns...but lets not forget the one who also asked if they stopped a carnival ride so Bone Junior could get off of it because she was "having too much fun" too. The Bone Junior and I spent the next 4 days living it up. I remembered what it was like to have friends who know too much about you and tease you about it all. It was great. Which accounts for my posting of the toilet photo! My Bone Junior fix was filled...and for those of you wondering about the story behind this lovely picture; Bone Junior is always interested in science, here is one experiment she was conducting almost exactly 1 year ago. Please direct further inquiries to the one and only to get the gory details and the conclusion to this fascinating experiment.

A funny thing happened today...

Rule #1: No candy allowed anywhere in the school. This includes classrooms, cafeterias, and hallways in the whole state of Tejas. A particularly hard rule to abide by the day after the Sugar Holiday. I reminded my kids yesterday afternoon that NO CANDY would be tolerated, and if I found any I would throw it away. Well, Thurston [my partner teacher] brought some candy to share with other teachers in a planning meeting this morning. There was some left over once the meeting broke up, so we put it in a pile on her desk. The students came back a little while later and saw that nice juicy pile of candy and asked why she had it. Proving once again to be the quick witted teacher that she is Thurston waits until her homeroom is back in their seats before she answers those students asking why she was allowed to have candy and they were not. Not skipping a beat she tells the kids, "I told you that candy was not allowed, this is all the candy I found in your backpacks while you were gone." Some of the students got very quiet, unsure how to proceed. You can see the student's dilemma; do students claim it might be their candy and get in trouble for bringing it? or do they kiss that particular portion of their candy stash goodbye? Well, one student decided that the trouble was almost worth it. She did not claim any of the candy was hers, rather into the dead silence that rang out as the class was digesting the information that their teacher had caught them bringing candy to school, this student asks "Did you get some of that candy from a purple backpack?" Smart gal, not quite admitting guilt, while still getting the facts...did Thurston confiscate my Halloween loot or not? Morale: You just remember that your teacher always knows...or will find out!

Happy HAPPY Halloween

I have had quite the great weekend; and I didn't even have to get trussed up in my costume to have it. I was not looking forward to the pre-Halloween jitters in my classroom, but it actually went all right. As I was driving home, looking forward to a quiet evening grading papers and watching some movies, I noticed that I had a phone message. ME! A message. Which is very exciting because I had no idea who had called me [i.e. I was not expecting to hear from a particular person] Rather it was a friend inviting me to celebrate with her and her roommate the Sugar Holiday. Ordering pizza and watching a crazy scary movie. I have no one to blame but myself seeing as I was the one to choose the evening's movie. If you have never seen Wolf Creek, I don't particularly recommend it for the faint of heart, especially considering I saw an edited version. The movie began with the disclaimer; "30,000 people turn up missing in Australia every year. 90% are found within 24 hours..." This is based on a true story. Sound like a campfire ghost story yet?? The movie goes on to scare the living daylights outta me, so much so that I woke up at 5 this morning with a heck of a crick in my neck and an episode of Full House playing over and over again. It was all okay though, the light was on so I was safe!

The 80's are back

If you needed further proof that the 80's were truly making a comeback...why not look to the elementary classrooms of America. One of my little 3rd grade gals showed up on Friday wearing what I would like to refer to as a true flashback of my grade school style - granted my mullet trumps any fashion worn any day, haven't seen the picture yet? Oops! - Anyway the gal was wearing a bright pink stretchy mini-skirt OVER black leggings. The only things that could have made it nearly a perfect flashback would be the black leggings would have been stirrup pants and she would have had alternating-color slouchy socks. Oh and don't forget the banana clip for her hair and a plastic shirt clip to pull the shirt to one side.

Forgot what slouchy socks were? I google-ed and discovered a "Before" and "After" how to pic-to-guide in case one forgot how to create this unique look. *Required: extremely tan & shiney leg*

BOY WAS I QUITE THE FASHION LEADER

One lucky ebay-er is now the happy owner of this colorful set of 6 "banana clip for every outfit" package for the grand price of $20.50 + $3.50 shipping! Where was I? Oh yeah, trying to forget the last time my mom made me wear one of these hair delights.

Am I addicted to Fabio?

After life with friends, I have had to fill my time with a poor substitution. Well, not so poor, just less interactive and this substitution doesn't laugh at my jokes. Since moving to Houston and into my own apartment, I have rigorously scheduled my week out according to TiVo and new season episodes. So lets begin with my top 5:

#5 Ugly Betty - Watching 5 minutes of this Series Premiere had me thinking it was the television version of The Devil Wears Prada. I must admit that this show has made it into my weekly "Must Watch" list. In fact the show has me permanently scheduling the show time slot into the TiVo (for ease hereon referred to Fabio II, for reasons known). A good show has you rooting or at least connecting to its characters. Now I have never been employed by a high fashion magazine (heaven knows why not?!) nor do I connect with the oddly honest yet likable Betty Suarez; but rather it is like waiting to watch a train wreck happen; waiting to see the next cringe-worthy outfit that America will be wearing next.

#4 Bachelor Rome - I personally vote for the lone brunette in the sea of blondes; especially if that sea is the Mediterranean...did I mention that it is near Italy?

#3 America's Next Top Model - 13 teens and early 20-somethings, where Melrose is old at 23. Television cannot get better than this. I stay tuned each week to see what Miss Tyra Banks has in store for the smaller and smaller group of Top Model wanna-bees. I almost lost it when on one of the first episodes of the new season when my idol Queen Latifa came strolling out. This season's competition is getting stiff, and the challenges are getting more intense, but keep an eye out...my vote is for Cari Dee. {2nd row from bottom, blonde gal on the right!}


#2 Grey's Anatomy
...Dr. McSteamy...
newest permanent cast member on the show;

'Nuff said







#1 LOST - Oh where oh where do I begin? Now this would be the original show that got me hooked on the "once-a-week" dramas. I was on a cruise to Key West, Mexico with some friends this past June. In the evenings after the activities that did not include consuming copious amounts of alcohol were over, there was not much to do, so we would retire to our cabin, get into those trusty pajamas...and crowd around the lap top to watch season 1 of this fabulous show. I was hooked 7 minutes into the pilot episode. We laughed when we decided that it was slightly disconcerting to be watching a show about people being stranded on a deserted island when we were miles out to see with no land in sight. Didn't stop me from watching the show though! Besides each week I try to decide if it is good guy Dr. Jack or bad boy Sawyer that I'm in love with more...

Conclusion: Fabio II is well worth the extra $7.50 per month.

"It's a Twister! It's a Twister!"

As I was tucking into to bed early this morning I was lulled to sleep by the thunder, lightening, and pouring rain. It had been raining on and off for the past couple of days and I just sat back and enjoyed each and every storm. Until last week- when it came into conflict with teaching in Portable Land. Unfortunately, Portable Land was not built to withstand the furies of nature here in Houston, Texas. The walkway ramps were flooding, the roofs were leaking, and the rain on the metal roof made it sound as though at any moment the roof was going to cave in. As I was getting into my car and the sky at 7:00 am was pitch black I began to wonder if I had the wrong time- it was too dark to be time for me to be driving into work. Shwibbie [my Honda] was going to have to do the job of a hummer today. There were literally waves rolling through the flooded parking lot. It was touch and go for awhile but I could see our salvation on the other side of the entrance gates. Shwibbie did magnificient and we made it to school in time. Not the story for all the teachers. Those in Portable Land were called into a meeting before school started, informing us to be prepared to bring our classes into the library in the event of life-threatening weather. Prepare for pictures to come later.

As I sit telling you about this my television is beeping at me...no not bleeping out those naughty words- rather there is a flash flood warning, tornado watch and flood advisory for my county... what does that mean to me?

I refer you to the internet on Tornado Formation: "A tornado is a violently rotating column of air in contact with and extending between a cloud (often a thunderstorm cloud) and the surface of the earth. Winds in most tornadoes blow at 100 mph or less, but in the most violent, and least frequent, wind speeds can exceed 250 mph. Tornadoes, often nicknamed "twisters," (should I be taking defensive driving lessons to practice dodging flying cattle?), typically track along the ground for a few miles or less and are less than 100 yards wide, though some monsters can remain in contact with the earth for well over fifty miles and exceed one mile in width.

Tornadoes can appear as a traditional funnel shape, or in a slender rope-like form. Some have a churning, smoky look to them, and others contain "multiple vortices" - small, individual tornadoes rotating around a common center. Even others may be nearly invisible, with only swirling dust or debris at ground level as the only indication of the tornado's presence. Tornadic phenomena can take several forms." How interesting?! I did not even know there was such a word as tornadic. Who knew?

Everyone needs a laugh sometimes

The Dominator

For those who have not heard yet...my choice to teach in an open concept elementary school has been less than appealing. Open concept literally meaning "No Walls and No Classroom Doors". It was an extremely rough start and I was having to remind myself that I did enjoy teaching, just not the trash from the administration. Then one day I was reading my email; something by the way that I am REQUIRED to check at least twice a day; when I received this friendly message from our third grade school counselor:

"Greetings Metcalf Family,

It is time to dominate one (1) student from each of your classes to participate in the PALS program. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this program, this program allows our students to be mentored by High School students. The high school students will be on campus from 10:45 to 11:15 one day a week. Remember that the person that you choose to dominate should have generally good conduct. The purpose of this program is just to provide additional emotional support and guidance. THANKS FOR ALL THAT YOU DO!!!"

Direct quote. No wonder they were dissatisfied with my performance. To make myself feel a little better I forwarded a copy of this email to a few choice people. One replied with this:

HPLuvr,
I would hope they meant nominate. Obviously the person who sent it felt dominated by someone. Let's keep this e-mail for when we publish the book "How To Keep Your Teachers". Remember your the dominator in your classroom.
Love ya, Mom

'Nuff said.

HPLuver Picture

"Is it a SPIDER?"

I thought I would include my own horrifying bug blog to join the ranks of those that have gone before me. To provide a little background: there was once a minor incident involving my old roommates and one of said old roommate's current fiance. Hanging out in the living room talking late one dark night, I happen to look over at the window where there was about an inch of non-covered window...I screamed like I have never screamed before and watched as Bone Junior and Scratch Something moved across the room faster than I had ever seen them move before. Admist my horrifying screams and Bone Junior's continual door slamming, she had the breath to ask me "Is it a SPIDER?" Now in my defense I have never looked out a dark window and had an eyeball staring back at me! No spider would have me screaming like that. Or so I thought. So here goes my secret bug shame. I recently moved into a brand new apartment in Houston, Texas. Life has been comfortable, until one night I look over and see something large and dark moving across my carpet. Thinking it was a mouse I screamed!! Until I peered a bit closer and screamed even louder as I ran to the closet for reinforcement, to squish the largest unknown bug I had ever seen. I even had to recruit a more sturdy shoe than my flip flop, or else I wasn't completely sure that this Hulk of a Bug wasn't going to grab the shoe and squish ME with it. Eventually I was the victor and Hulk was in the trash can...but I could not stop wondering "What kind of bug is it?" and "Should I prepare for an encore?" The natural place to find out...online. I came across this:

"It’s pretty much a typical lazy summer day here in Tuberville Georgia. The kind of day where we just sort of naturally don’t want to do much more than sit out on the front porch under a slow moving ceiling fan and just contemplate world events. Now as things go around here, world events mostly center on conversations about where you can find the biggest roaches and such. I personally vote for Houston Texas. They grow some serious sized critters down there. It isn’t unusual to
see a roach what’s bigger than your whole hand. And those big roaches have wings and can fly. You have to be mighty careful when being dive bombed by a Texas roach."

Now where was this factual information before I moved Houston, Texas.

A Toast to those who inspired me...

I will work this out...or figure out how to do this blog stuff. I love coming home each night and racing to my computer "favorites" to see if my favorites have posted anything new...